The One With Amy's Cats

There would be many supporting roles in My Life: The Comedy Series. Two of those roles would certainly go to my cats, Castor and Pollux. And, yes, I know my cats have odd names. But that's not the point.


There are any number of comedic stories I could tell about my cats - as any cat owner would know. But there is one story that stands out from the rest. It is much more than your average cat hijinx. This story is the King of all cat capers. You may even say when you've finished reading, that its 'Throne-Worthy.'


First of all, a little background is necessary. I have 2 cats. Duh. They happen to be litter mates, though you'd never guess by looking at them. I have one beautiful, sleek, graceful grey tabby. Elegant, affectionate, intelligent. The epitome of what a cat should be.


And then, there is Pollux.


Pollux could most accurately be described as...hmmm...how do I put this delicately? He's a tad, well...fat. More than a tad really. In fact, his nickname is Pumpkin. And its not so much meant in the affectionate "you're such a sweet little Pumpkin" kind of way as it is meant to describe what he resembles physically. In fact, the word sweet really wouldn't describe his disposition at all. He's more of a bully. Think Garfield: orange, round and generally mean.

His mean disposition made it no surprise, then, that one day as I was getting a little Sunday afternoon nap on the couch, I was awakened by yowling and hissing and general cat angst. Once again, Pollux the Cruel was picking on his little brother. Pollux used his mass to push Castor around, pin him to the floor and reestablish his roll as Dictator of all things Feline.

But this time, things went a little differently. Castor, being much smaller and more agile, managed to wriggle free and went running down the hall. Pollux - not being one for mercy - went chasing after at top speed. Seconds after they both round the corner-

CRASH - CLATTER - SPLASH!!!!

This cannot be good.

I run down the hall, fully expecting to see Castor's little body crushed under Pollux's massive frame. But what I see after rounding the corner can only be described as God's justice in the animal kingdom:

Pollux - head hanging low, an expression of shock and utter humiliation:
IN THE TOILET.

Yes, in his rapid pursuit of his little punching bag, Pollux made a grievous error in judgement. As he lept on to the toilet on the heels of Castor, his weight - which he so often used to his advantage - caused the entire toilet seat to break off and catapult into the shower, leaving Pollux to soak in his much-deserved throne.

Justice was done.
And it was well worth the cost of the replacement toilet seat and kitty shampoo.